I sat alone by the seashore
Waiting for the waves to catch me
And take me out to sea
Yet I felt a strange fear
Of being washed up on alien shores
And finding the emptiness that haunts me.
The sands were soft under my feet
As the sea would come to greet me
With a delightful coolness
And splash me when I least expected>
Leaving the taste of lingering salt on my tongue
And the rough sand clinging to my dress.
I danced a waltz with the ocean
Catching the water in the cup of my hand
As the waves rolled higher, engulfing more sand
And there was no one I wanted but you
To hold my hand as I walked on
Into the ocean to greet the highest wave.
I surrendered to the saline waters
Letting it play tug of war with my body
I watched the pebbles roll out beside me
Too feeble to resist the smoothing waves
And crab peeked through the salty liquid
Before being carried out to sea.
Then I found myself standing
As the waves crashed against me
And took me closer to peace
And I walked away from the salty sea
With an unexpected gift left by the ocean
A pocketful of sand and a smile on my lips.
~*~*~
There is something about the ocean which draws me towards it. I guess most people must feel this way about the ocean, but I somehow believe that I have such a liking for it because I spent much of my childhood living near it. I didn’t visit it that often, but if I had known what a wonderful the sea is at that time, I’m sure I would’ve gone there every chance I had. Some of my earliest memories are about beaches, seashells, and the sound of the waves. Somehow I’m feeling kind of nostalgic about it. There is nothing like sitting in the water as the waves lap over you. I can just sit and listen forever.
Sleep has come a long way
From the doors closed upon it,
And the dancing snowflakes
Like fluttering memories
Drift over closed eyelids,
And I can no longer tell
Whether you are a dream
Or waking consciousness.
I want to suffer for you,
This passion I feel is endless,
I want to replace your tears
With drops of my blood,
Take your agony into my heart
And leave you with your bliss
Unharmed by sweet realities
I want to take that frown
And turn it upside down,
I just want to give
And take nothing in return.
I am awake now
Brutally aware of my existence,
Little escapes my senses,
Paper-cuts leave me empty
Yet I feel too much,
How many pages will I waste
With random marks in blue ink,
And this frigid world
Bids me to kneel with empty hands,
There is nowhere to run,
Nor anything to keep me here.
I can feel your warmth
Starting in the palm of my hands,
It is all that I care for
In this frozen life I live,
My passion burns with a fervor,
As it consumes me from inside,
I long to see your face
Though you are so far away,
Remember the sadness you took away
From the depths of my heart?
I long to hold it in my hands
And crush it.
Sounds of faint music
Can be heard in the distance,
Like spring coming early,
Showering warmth in the cold air,
Though the night has not ended,
Nor are the morning rays near.
The winds have softly spoken,
Like vines entwined in an embrace,
Never wanting to let go of the warmth
Brought upon by the feeling of emptiness
Nearing as time flies by,
The moment to embark has come.
A solitary fragrance lingers on,
Like a tribute to this momentary feeling,
Declaring its will to wait,
Until the day the wind blows again
Bringing with it the affection
Felt in a single evanescent moment.
As a child, I was always told,
Never to use the word “hate”,
For feelings of real hatred
Are always more vehement,
Than words we say in anger,
These words that sting like poison.
They forgot to tell me,
That the word “love”
Is much stronger when used,
And harsher when said in vain,
Especially if you are at
The receiving end, waiting.
The earth cast a shadow on the moon,
Cutting off the light from the sun,
And the night sky was so dark,
Dotted with a million glowing orbs,
So far away, yet so close.
Drink in the shadows, dear friend,
The earth is lonely in its might,
Always reaching out from the start of time,
For the furthest stretches of eternity,
Longing for these stars so far away.
There is no love where warmth cannot reach,
Yet the light does reach the earth.
It is the Pole star which caught the earth off her guard,
Shining brightest of all in the night sky,
Calling out to her heart.
The dance of the stars in the night sky,
Sung songs of old times,
Telling the earth how she must first,
Learn to touch the sky,
Before dreaming of stars so high above.
And the earth in her longing grew weary,
Shutting out the sky with her clouds,
Always weeping these tears,
Yet never letting herself be heard,
By the star she dearly loved.
Yet there is still hope…
Stars do not fall down to earth,
Except at the horizon,
Where the earth touches the sky,
Embracing it with all its might,
Realizing there are no impossibilities.
Also apologies, but Love and Romance is just not my thing but I wanted to write according to the theme this time anyways. The above is probably a pretty lame and very raw poem, but it is the best a heartless creature like me can do. 😛
Sometimes you pine for what you’ve never had,
Sometimes you pine for what you’ve lost,
And cry rivers for unrequited love,
When you’ve lost more than what it cost.
Yet never do you learn to appreciate,
The wildflowers peeking through the cracks,
When red roses wilt, wither, and die, you mourn,
Though wildflowers strive to brighten up the track.
These roads leading to the walls of your heart
Can be tread by a select few,
Yet you never care to take the path,
Of one whose heart beats just for you.
And then you say there is no one in this world,
Who can stand by your side for life.
For the ones you would follow to the end,
Are the ones who left in the midst of strife.
So you pine for what you’ve never had,
You pine for what you’ve lost,
And continues this vicious mess,
Where you gain nothing more than loss.
Panic was always the first thought,
Which crossed the fields of my mind,
As I sat pondering over the little troubles,
Flooding the vacuum with their presence.
Yet, never could I understand why big problems,
Were problems at all for those around me.
For sometimes life came too easy,
And I needed to watch myself fall.
Maybe I talk because I have nothing to say,
But only wish to fill the empty silence,
Of thoughts unspoken, thoughts unheard,
Thoughts running mad in space and time.
So nonsense spilled out from my heart,
In words hidden behind a veil,
Their meaning crystal clear to me,
Yet meaningless to all those who listened.
I always seemed reckless in the eyes of others,
Never taking responsibility for more than myself,
And hard work was a word alien to me,
Yet the ring of the phrase was so familiar.
I always said to myself that the future is waiting,
It will never be out of reach,
Yet somehow these roads leading to destruction,
Always tried to stray me from my goals.
Why is it that this sinking feeling attracts me,
Like a moth to a street lamp?
When all others around me do all they can,
To soar to the ends of the sky.
Stars look so beautiful, shining so brightly,
Unattainable in every respect,
Yet all I pine for is to touch them,
As they are all that keeps me rooted to the ground.
And I sit in silence, listening,
Hearing nothing, yet hearing all,
Thinking too little, thinking too much,
Searching for peace in the midst of chaos.
A little voice at the back of my mind,
Shouts out a single word,
Making me shudder to think,
That this is all that I’ve brought myself to…
I am standing very still,
As I watch this life pass me by,
Without waiting for me to catch up.
They all moved on, from this moment,
But I found myself stuck, feet planted,
Just distant thoughts of evanescent dreams,
Reaching out to pull me back to the present.
And I am stuck in time,
Unable to take a step forward,
And I cannot go back.
The naïvety of love drowned in me,
The innocence to trust unconditionally.
Now I pine constantly to feel without pain,
To reach a state of being comfortably numb.
I watch the colors merge into white,
As they envelop me in a swirling wind,
And I find, time has passed me by.
The thoughts have become a blur,
I cannot fathom where one begins and another ends.
Yet I can still see myself clearly,
Standing in the midst of this bedlam.
The voices from the past echo,
Through the crevices of my mind,
But all I can hear is noise.
I was always so caught up in this inner strife,
I had forgotten what it meant to breathe.
Soon even the voices in my head passed me by,
And I found myself trapped behind these bars.
The footsteps can be heard,
Ringing through the silence,
But they can never be seen.
My footsteps were lost in the illusion of space,
No matter where I turned,
I was greeted, by only darkness.
And I could hear the distant siren of a train.
The siren of the train too was a blur,
Decoded from the depths of time,
Heard so faintly I thought it to be a lie.
I went running, trying so hard to catch up,
Out of breath, but trying harder,
That I might reach the handle of this train,
But the train of life left, it carried on without me.
There is only one thing to do now,
To start over from scratch,
And learn to walk hand-in-hand with time.
~*~*~
Note: The above photograph was found Here. I was greatly inspired by it to write the above piece.
Note #2: Apologies to everyone who has been commenting on my blog and not getting comments in return, or receiving them very late. I don’t have Internet connection at home right now, because of which all blogging I do, has to be done from work. It is not always the easiest place to blog from, and over the last few days though I have come to my office to use the Internet, couldn’t quite find time to visit everyone. I will get down to it as soon as possible, which should be soon as I think either today or tomorrow my Internet connection at home should be activated. Thank you to everyone reading this!
Summer has come and gone,
And the fragrance of these soft memories,
Hang heavy in the air.
Leaving traces of a life I once had,
Lingering on in the touch of your breath,
Fleeting, always fleeting, never to be caught,
These memories I have tried so hard to hang on to.
Inside the Mind of a Lunatic 