Self Reflections/Despicable Me

Broken (Google Image Search)

 ~*~*~

Maybe I am only good at creating wounds
Deep lacerations that leave behind scars
Which may heal but can never be erased.
Time has told me that one cut is never enough
I don’t want to cause the pain you are feeling
But I cannot stop myself once the words are out.

Imagine living as I do, knowing the wrongs I do
Yet being forced to see my face in the mirror
The face I wish I could damage permanently.
I know the monster that resides inside my soul
I have tried to escape, but it always finds me
And becomes one with the weakness in my mind.

I am a selfish thing, locked in the body of humanity,
Until now, I never knew I cared for myself so dearly,
But I see my selfishness always has the upper hand.
I feel ashamed of what I have become
Yet I take not a single action to become better
Instead I walk down the road to degradation.
I suck the life out of every soul close to me
It is the only art I have come to learn over the years
An art which I have mastered to perfection.
And when wrongs are done to me
I take the role of the victim, declare all is unfair
No wrongs are acceptable when done to me.
Time and time again, I realize why I am alone,
Why would one willing get wounded
When I have absolutely nothing else to offer?
What friends do I deserve, how can I be loved?
When I take it all for granted, when I throw it all away,
For I have never learned to see past the despicable me.

~*~*~

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2 thoughts on “Self Reflections/Despicable Me”

  1. Oh, some heavy words here! Knowing you, none of this apply to you … but the poem is moving, makes one think if we all have a little bit of despicable inside our hearts that we sometimes even with good intentions we can’t avoid!

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