Tag Archives: feelings

A Vial of Tears

Capturing Tears (Image found via Google Image Search)

~*~*~

And I’m falling
Falling till I can’t feel anymore,
Falling till my senses fade,
Leaving me with nothing
Except the memories of laughter
That I gave up long ago.

Tainted by thorns,
I lie like a dream unrequited,
Encumbered by the weight of existence,
Hanging heavy over the tears
That refuse to choke my voice,
And I am waiting
For the blood to surface
So I can have my taste of pain.

Solitary confinement,
Two words tingling my tongue,
For it is all that I have come to desire
Over the seconds that fly by
Keeping me locked in
With a feeling of despair,
I want to fly to a far off place
To bid my time alone
Till I lay down to close my eyes forever.

The laughing voices echo
From the depths of my past
‘This sound that I gave up long ago
For a vial of tears
More precious than diamonds
That light the night sky.

No tears, no sounds,
No vials of madness
Can make my heart long
To wish for more
Than the alms given,
Mendicants cannot dream
To be Kings.

But the tears too have left me,
How unreliable they have been
What must I depend on next
To keep my clock ticking?
The folly of these tears
Will not be forgotten
As the subterfuge
Of those lost sounds
Pierce my memory sharply,
Emotions are tricksters.

The glass lies broken,
The content spilled
Across the floor,
The thistle has overgrown,
The roses have died,
The tears slipped
And escaped me,
The laughter is long gone,
I’m left with only apathy,
With which to pick up
The broken shards of glass.

~*~*~

Loneliness

Alone (Found via Google Image Search)

~*~*~

Loneliness crept up slowly, unheard,
Like the madness set out to take over a soul,
And before I knew it, I could feel it in my bones,
This maddening loneliness would not leave me alone.

I could feel it stronger in the midst of the crowd,
Many smiling faces, but none could touch my heart,
All I wanted to do was run away from the noise,
Where I could be alone and feel my solitary warmth.

Familiar faces  distanced me with their words,
Strangers became easier to speak to, if required,
And afternoons spent alone in my little hole,
Became the best time I had ever spent, always alone.

Dreams of distant lands came to me often,
Where not a face knew me except my anonymity,
And I’d have a smile on my face, a song in my heart,
For this loneliness would be my supreme birthright.

So I built a shell around me, bit by bit,
A shell to hide from me the harsh sunlight,
A shell unbreakable, a shell so tight,
To keep my solitary happiness to myself.

Oh this Solitude, ’tis a vicious feeling that digs deeper,
Becoming an unwanted guest refusing to leave,
Making its home in the heart and mind,
Like a virus, incurable, bringing with it a sickness which stays.

~*~*~

Emotionless

Perfect Poet Award Week 37

I accept the Perfect Poet Award for week 37. Thank you Jingle for the award. I would like to nominate Jingle to receive the next award!

My acceptance poem is below. I wrote this many years ago (about six years ago), just thought I should put it up sometime. Good to compare my older stuff with now. We’re always evolving, aren’t we?

~*~*~

Emotionless, I slip into the black
What I once felt can never come back
The rain that once poured forth
Has turned to the ocean soaked in blood
Laughing at my open wounds
I feel myself fall into the infinite mud

Emotionless, I walk oblivious of all
I’ve come so far, I feel not the fall
The winds are getting stronger
As the ashes and snow cover the ground
Smiling on forever
One can hear failure’s abhorred sound

Emotionless, I take a run into the night
No matter what I do, I’ll never win this fight
The waves have become so violent
The celestial lightning shows us his wrath
I lay here scarred so very deep
As the darkness seeps into my long forgotten path

Emotionless, I ride apathetic of the storm
I find myself fading of solid form
The sun happens to be melting the snow
Forming rivers of lost souls, rivers of death
I have been left forsaken
Left to die with a thousand sinful heathens

Emotionless, I dash into an open field
Claustrophobia my defense, my only remaining shield
The leaves form a swirling tower
Threatening to engulf me in their fiery flames
Yet I stand there calmly frowning
Tired of playing these useless subliminal games

Emotionless no more, the emotions are returning
For all that I’ve lost, I find myself yearning
Silent is the atmosphere, violet is the sky
Tomorrow is lost forever
The tears roll down my cheeks as I wait here to die
Just die and fade, never to be found, never

For emotionless I am, emotionless forever…

~*~*~

Okay I know that one is dark and depressing. I used to consider it a masterpiece back then, but I guess I don’t like it as much anymore.

The Wind

Waiting for the Wind

~*~*~

Sounds of faint music
Can be heard in the distance,
Like spring coming early,
Showering warmth in the cold air,
Though the night has not ended,
Nor are the morning rays near.

The winds have softly spoken,
Like vines entwined in an embrace,
Never wanting to let go of the warmth
Brought upon by the feeling of emptiness
Nearing as time flies by,
The moment to embark has come.

A solitary fragrance lingers on,
Like a tribute to this momentary feeling,
Declaring its will to wait,
Until the day the wind blows again
Bringing with it the affection
Felt in a single evanescent moment.

~*~*~

The Song

~*~*~

I set the song free,
From the chains,
To which it was bound,
Once, holding fast,
To the walls of,
This prison.

I watched the song,
Float away on a cloud,
As the sun shone through,
With its lovely rays
Bringing warmth,
In the midst of cold.

I felt the song,
Rushing through
My every vein,
Flowing through,
Undiscovered lands,
And into my heart.

I sang the song,
Of my heart,
With written thoughts,
Making eye contact,
Saying nothing,
But feeling all.

I gently blew the song,
Into your palms,
Watching, waiting,
For the slightest hint,
Of understanding,
And acknowledgement.

A song came back,
On purple wings,
A song sent here by you.
I decided to wait,
Before opening it,
But, I still haven’t heard the tune.

~*~*~

The End

Solitude

~*~*~

Some days I look upon the sky,
With a singing in my heart.
Some days the singing turns in to
Voices I once sought.
“Leave not, leave not!” in despair,
My heart does always shout.
Alas, in the end,
You’re gone my friend,
In the end you’ve left without a thought…

~*~*~

The despair, the agony, the pain of living,
How difficult it is to endure.
My heart longs for this last breath,
As the distance darkens between us.
Was it too much for me to ask,
Or only too much for you to give?
My grief has blinded,
Taken away even the faintest glimmer of light,
As the world falls asunder.
The dawn brings  no warmth,
Twilight brings no chill,
And I am falling deeper,
Into the depths of dolorous passion,
As I close my eyes one last time,
And take this final breath…

~*~*~

Sinking deep into my solitude,
Longing for a future I can never have.
The past echoes my feelings,
But the present sings an alien song.
Hope poisons this broken heart,
Clouding this mind.
This is the end my friend,
The end.

~*~*~