I sat alone by the seashore
Waiting for the waves to catch me
And take me out to sea
Yet I felt a strange fear
Of being washed up on alien shores
And finding the emptiness that haunts me.
The sands were soft under my feet
As the sea would come to greet me
With a delightful coolness
And splash me when I least expected>
Leaving the taste of lingering salt on my tongue
And the rough sand clinging to my dress.
I danced a waltz with the ocean
Catching the water in the cup of my hand
As the waves rolled higher, engulfing more sand
And there was no one I wanted but you
To hold my hand as I walked on
Into the ocean to greet the highest wave.
I surrendered to the saline waters
Letting it play tug of war with my body
I watched the pebbles roll out beside me
Too feeble to resist the smoothing waves
And crab peeked through the salty liquid
Before being carried out to sea.
Then I found myself standing
As the waves crashed against me
And took me closer to peace
And I walked away from the salty sea
With an unexpected gift left by the ocean
A pocketful of sand and a smile on my lips.
~*~*~
There is something about the ocean which draws me towards it. I guess most people must feel this way about the ocean, but I somehow believe that I have such a liking for it because I spent much of my childhood living near it. I didn’t visit it that often, but if I had known what a wonderful the sea is at that time, I’m sure I would’ve gone there every chance I had. Some of my earliest memories are about beaches, seashells, and the sound of the waves. Somehow I’m feeling kind of nostalgic about it. There is nothing like sitting in the water as the waves lap over you. I can just sit and listen forever.
Sleep has come a long way
From the doors closed upon it,
And the dancing snowflakes
Like fluttering memories
Drift over closed eyelids,
And I can no longer tell
Whether you are a dream
Or waking consciousness.
I want to suffer for you,
This passion I feel is endless,
I want to replace your tears
With drops of my blood,
Take your agony into my heart
And leave you with your bliss
Unharmed by sweet realities
I want to take that frown
And turn it upside down,
I just want to give
And take nothing in return.
I am awake now
Brutally aware of my existence,
Little escapes my senses,
Paper-cuts leave me empty
Yet I feel too much,
How many pages will I waste
With random marks in blue ink,
And this frigid world
Bids me to kneel with empty hands,
There is nowhere to run,
Nor anything to keep me here.
I can feel your warmth
Starting in the palm of my hands,
It is all that I care for
In this frozen life I live,
My passion burns with a fervor,
As it consumes me from inside,
I long to see your face
Though you are so far away,
Remember the sadness you took away
From the depths of my heart?
I long to hold it in my hands
And crush it.
With the Crane came happiness,
And sunlight dissolved the darkness
That had permeated deep into the soul.
The warmth crept up slowly,
Taking away the numbness inside,
And with it the melancholic echoes.
The silence it brought lingered on,
Like peace after a great storm,
And no chaos was left anymore.
This Great Crane, this wondrous bird,
Flew into my heart without a word,
And with it, came the essence of life.
I found a verse you left me
From a different era
Locked up in the pages
Of a book I read long ago.
It spoke to me volumes
Of days that passed by
Secrets hidden under pillows
And forgotten over time.
The fire always lit inside of me
Courage in a different form
I would always try to play with it
Even though my finger would burn.
Now the flames are welcoming
And warms the air all around me
But I am afraid of stepping closer
Even though I have been burning all along.
The winding gravel road
Upon which we tread so softly
Grating sand under the sole of our feet
A sound which is music to my ears.
I should have seen this coming
When I first stepped onto the ground
But I waived away any such thoughts
As I walked down the track alone.
Like early spring showers
That wash away the tears
I’m soaked to the bone with joy
And I long for the dawn of each day.
Waves come splashing from distant shores
And I’m swimming under the sea
Calling out to my dry self on the beach
To jump in and smile with me.
This self-destruct button
Has finally been silenced
Though I never held any fear
Even if someday it would have gone off.
Yet you feared for me
I never understood why
Maybe because I am in love with pain
And you’ve been trying to set me free.
The winds of change are blowing
Changing directions, dancing
I’m caught in the current
No longer resisting this change.
It carries the sound of my heartbeat
With the fragrance of a new day
Through these sands of time
Changing, forever changing.
There is no permanence
This I have learned with time
These fleeting moments I cherish more
For we’re just like autumn leaves.
I close my eyes and see you smiling
Not so far away, yet not close enough
The leaves keep twirling
Until we too find ourselves lost.
~*~*~
I received the Perfect Poet Award for Week 41. I am honored to receive the award and I accept it. The above is my acceptance poem. I would like to nominate Lady Pen for the next award.
Like forgotten tears,
And frozen fears,
You are a thousand miles away,
I’ll seek you out
You will tell me,
I will listen,
Nothing matters,
Everything changes.
Like petals,
Fallen on the ground
Soft, like a carpet,
Infinitely bound,
Slowly faltering
With each step
Come to me
I reach out to you.
Madness divine,
Tangled, entwined,
I am spinning a web,
You will tear it,
I will still catch you,
Coax you, persuade you,
You cannot escape me,
You will not even try.
The tables turn,
I don’t know you,
You read me like a book,
Why bother? I ask
The world will churn us
Make us into buttery soup
Where will you be,
Where will I?
I will play, you will sing,
We will be one
No, a million,
With one face
You will be me,
I will be you,
We will be different,
As poisoned fangs and soft fur.
A single clink,
Will bring together
Our souls for a moment,
Everlasting memory
I have seen it all,
I have seen nothing,
Come with me
I reach out for you.
But you are too far away.
Innocent, naive
I cannot play with you,
Would you let me?
A drop for a drop,
A smile for a smile,
Come to me,
I will wait for you.
Strangers come and go,
From unknown faces
To much searched for smiles,
From unsure greetings
To teary-eyed goodbyes
On this journey called life.
She was an ordinary nobody
Seeking herself and her dreams
Hoping for something good
To meet her at the corners of life
She was carefree, she loved freedom,
But had her insecurities too.
He was a boy with common tastes,
Constantly searching for familiarity
In the strangest of things
Words rarely left his lips
But his mind never stayed still
As he soaked up life like a sponge.
She would walk a mile in one’s shoes
But never let another near her own
Her eyes held mysteries so deep
Though sad and distant was her gaze
She had big dreams on some days
Yet wanted nothing from this life on others.
He couldn’t care less for pleasures
That the world had to offer
He wanted something more
Something substantial and permanent
But he tried hard to convince himself otherwise
As he walked down this worn out road.
She would feel so lonely and lost sometimes
Thinking how vast the universe was
There were not many people
Who could spark her imagination
But the ones who could
Were the ones that did not stay.
He was constantly searching
For someone to share his thoughts with
Someone who’s mind would resonate with his
Who could make him feel alive
But all he had found so far
Were not worth more than a few moments.
Their paths crossed on one fine day,
Two unknown strangers walking on the street,
And they smiled like they knew
What resided in the other’s soul,
They went home with a song
And courage in their hearts.
Yes, strangers come and go,
From unknown faces
To much searched for smiles,
From unsure greetings
To teary-eyed goodbyes
On this journey called life.
You walked into my life so quietly
I did not hear the door opening,
Or the sound of footsteps echoing
Through these empty halls,
So silent, even the sound of
A pin dropping could be heard
Before it touched the ground.
Yet here you are, always smiling,
Waiting patiently as I let out
All this darkness I feel inside,
And even then, you don’t give up
On listening to what I have to say
Nor do you listen and walk away
I find myself wondering why
You take so much pain to care.
Or maybe I’ve just hardly met,
People who puts up with others
That show such little gratitude
In what they have received in life
And I’m always so stuck in the past
The present leaves me behind
I get more lost, and dizzy everyday
Yet somehow you help me find my way
To a patch of dry and solid ground.
Where would I be without you,
Always there to catch me as I fall
What would I do without you
When I’ve got so much to share
I don’t even know why
I let you read me like an open book
But no one knows me better
Than if you’d written every page.
You’ve done so much to mend me
From the inside, you keep me sane
More than I would care to be anyways
In every possible way, you make me smile
And know just what to say.
Even when I don’t want the dead
Feelings inside of me to go away,
You lock them up and swallow the key.
So my dear and much cherished friend,
I just want to say, that no matter
How far the distances tear us apart,
I’ll always be around to lend an ear
Or a shoulder if you ever need,
I’ll try my best to pick you up when you fall,
And lock up the sadness behind jokes,
I’ll do my best to be there for you
Through the brightest sun and dullest rain,
All for you my dearest friend.
~*~*~
I dedicate the above to a few of my closest and best friends. I think you all know who you are. Thank you for being there for me, through everything!
Are there pain killers for a broken heart?
For the ache intensifies all through the day.
Exhaustion clings fast, pulling me under the waves.
The tears soak my pillow, as my eyes close for the night.
Maybe life takes us for a rough ride,
So we can appreciate the streaks of joy,
In this otherwise disenchanting life.
I never thought, before words slipped my mouth,
And you knew more than I cared to tell.
Yet, never did I stop this stream of thoughts,
I just believed you would always understand.
I never felt the need to hide myself,
From the people who mattered to me most,
Only that I never meant enough to them.
Oceans of regret lay in front of me,
My impulsiveness always leading to roads,
Of mistakes I never had intentions to make,
But actions based on raw emotion always lead to misery.
Though I always find myself drowning in fits of emotion,
Sometimes the recklessness of the heart pays off,
In rare moments of absolution.
I could never stand to be disappointed,
Always taking to heart words spoken by another,
Trusting where I never should have dared to trust,
Only to face these demons called frustration.
The heart is naive, like an innocent child,
Sometimes it needs to feel this disillusionment,
To grow wise with regard to this unfair world.
What did I not do to keep this thread from breaking?
Yet, still did the thread sever, without a hint,
Of even the faintest weakness,
And I found myself falling to the ground.
The ground was hard, and unfriendly,
Yet had I not been hurt so badly,
How could my real friends have picked me up?
Always did I try to understand, another’s circumstances,
Though I was rarely understood,
And the voices in my head still haunt me,
Why should I not judge, when others always do.
Yet, how could I have chosen to be critical of their actions,
For what right do we have to judge,
When we ourselves are flawed?
In this world where honesty and ethics have no place,
Still did I try my best to do the right.
Often I found myself being left behind,
Even by those for whom I took a strong stand.
Had I faltered in my choices between right and wrong,
The guilt would have followed me around for life,
Like the pain seeping through the walls of this prison.
It is only with sadness, with the taste of salty tears,
That we learn to appreciate the ring of laughter.
It is only with mistakes and failures,
That we learn to pick ourselves up when we fall.
So I walk this road ahead of me,
As a smile touches the corners of my lips,
And I walk into the embracing arms of life.
~*~*~
Note: No internet connection at home, so it will be hard for me to reply to posts and visit fellow bloggers. I would just like to Apologize in advance. Have a great weekend!
I recently watched a movie, Where the Wild Things Are, and I felt it was one of the most wonderful movies I’ve watched lately. Though it made me very sad, because somewhere I could relate to Max, except the ending, where he at least finds a reason to smile. Well, the following has been influenced a bit by the movie, though not completely.
Where the Wild Things Are
~*~*~
Today I feel unwanted, my eccentricity,
Pulling me down under the waves of life.
I am sorry, I couldn’t be better.
The waves of the ocean, so beautiful,
Glittering like diamonds lost,
Taking the weak, leaving the strong.
I tried to be the ruler of the world,
To take away all the sorrow and pain,
But I could awaken only false hopes and dreams.
The sands, coming from eroding stone,
Swirling in the yellow desert,
Until no sands are left at all.
I thought I could bring happiness into your life,
By building up a world for me and you,
A world you thought you could only dream of.
The mountains and rivers,
And boat rides down the hill,
It’s a beautiful world you wished to builid.
I tried hard, with you by my side,
To build up from scratch, this paradise,
Which was supposed to bury all the sadness and pain.
The owls go circling up overhead,
Giving advice when asked in seven words,
But I could not understand how to spread smiles.
And I am sorry, dear friend, for letting you down,
Disappointment hangs heavy above you,
I am sorry I couldn’t be the one to bring you happiness.
I must say goodbye, leave you to pick up,
The pieces of your life I left disarray,
But please know, I shall always love you and miss you.
I go sailing to a land far away,
But I have no home to run back to,
Forgive me dear friend, for leaving you a mess.
Inside the Mind of a Lunatic 