Tag Archives: emotions

A Vial of Tears

Capturing Tears (Image found via Google Image Search)

~*~*~

And I’m falling
Falling till I can’t feel anymore,
Falling till my senses fade,
Leaving me with nothing
Except the memories of laughter
That I gave up long ago.

Tainted by thorns,
I lie like a dream unrequited,
Encumbered by the weight of existence,
Hanging heavy over the tears
That refuse to choke my voice,
And I am waiting
For the blood to surface
So I can have my taste of pain.

Solitary confinement,
Two words tingling my tongue,
For it is all that I have come to desire
Over the seconds that fly by
Keeping me locked in
With a feeling of despair,
I want to fly to a far off place
To bid my time alone
Till I lay down to close my eyes forever.

The laughing voices echo
From the depths of my past
‘This sound that I gave up long ago
For a vial of tears
More precious than diamonds
That light the night sky.

No tears, no sounds,
No vials of madness
Can make my heart long
To wish for more
Than the alms given,
Mendicants cannot dream
To be Kings.

But the tears too have left me,
How unreliable they have been
What must I depend on next
To keep my clock ticking?
The folly of these tears
Will not be forgotten
As the subterfuge
Of those lost sounds
Pierce my memory sharply,
Emotions are tricksters.

The glass lies broken,
The content spilled
Across the floor,
The thistle has overgrown,
The roses have died,
The tears slipped
And escaped me,
The laughter is long gone,
I’m left with only apathy,
With which to pick up
The broken shards of glass.

~*~*~

Loneliness

Alone (Found via Google Image Search)

~*~*~

Loneliness crept up slowly, unheard,
Like the madness set out to take over a soul,
And before I knew it, I could feel it in my bones,
This maddening loneliness would not leave me alone.

I could feel it stronger in the midst of the crowd,
Many smiling faces, but none could touch my heart,
All I wanted to do was run away from the noise,
Where I could be alone and feel my solitary warmth.

Familiar faces  distanced me with their words,
Strangers became easier to speak to, if required,
And afternoons spent alone in my little hole,
Became the best time I had ever spent, always alone.

Dreams of distant lands came to me often,
Where not a face knew me except my anonymity,
And I’d have a smile on my face, a song in my heart,
For this loneliness would be my supreme birthright.

So I built a shell around me, bit by bit,
A shell to hide from me the harsh sunlight,
A shell unbreakable, a shell so tight,
To keep my solitary happiness to myself.

Oh this Solitude, ’tis a vicious feeling that digs deeper,
Becoming an unwanted guest refusing to leave,
Making its home in the heart and mind,
Like a virus, incurable, bringing with it a sickness which stays.

~*~*~

Lessons

Wandering

~*~*~

Here we stand, like lost souls,
Stranded on the island of our inner thoughts,
With nowhere to go, and nothing to take us away
From the Tempest wrecking havoc
When all we long for is some clarity.

We go on living, without a care
For the dreams that made us who we are
The same which we buried underground
Like treasure hidden beneath the sand
We pine for it, but it is lost, and cannot be found.

Life has a way of teaching us
To adapt as times passes us by
By becoming colder and more indifferent
Towards even what we once felt strongly for
Until someday we have no feelings left at all.

/*Yet somehow, the numbness almost fades
When it comes down to you,
If even for only a moment, it’s all I need…
For now.*/

Faces come and go, like the pages of a dull book,
Read too fast, without peeping in between the lines,
Or really trying to comprehend what has been said,
Yet each word has been glanced at, each letter sounded out,
And we claim we have understood everything.

Disillusionment is the easiest road to choose,
When facing a fork in the State of Confusion,
It seems well lit, but the night is long and dark,
The sun never rises, the moon never sets
And we are prone to stumbling, a little too often.

The journey becomes a compromise
We make one step at a time, one event at a time,
Choosing necessity over our aspirations,
Picking mediocrity in a life we never wanted,
Over the excellence we could have achieved.

Still they tell us to dream, to dream big,
But I’ve lost mine, they fell out from my pocket,
Unnoticed, as they softly fluttered to the ground,
But all hope is not lost, for there must be a way,
To rediscover dreams, and start a sincere chase.

It is time to unlearn, and rebuild.

~*~*~

Fire, Water, Air

Bridge to Terabithia

~*~*~

I found a verse you left me
From a different era
Locked up in the pages
Of a book I read long ago.
It spoke to me volumes
Of days that passed by
Secrets hidden under pillows
And forgotten over time.

The fire always lit inside of me
Courage in a different form
I would always try to play with it
Even though my finger would burn.
Now the flames are welcoming
And warms the air all around me
But I am afraid of stepping closer
Even though I have been burning all along.

The winding gravel road
Upon which we tread so softly
Grating sand under the sole of our feet
A sound which is music to my ears.
I should have seen this coming
When I first stepped onto the ground
But I waived away any such thoughts
As I walked down the track alone.

Like early spring showers
That wash away the tears
I’m soaked to the bone with joy
And I long for the dawn of each day.
Waves come splashing from distant shores
And I’m swimming under the sea
Calling out to my dry self on the beach
To jump in and smile with me.

This self-destruct button
Has finally been silenced
Though I never held any fear
Even if someday it would have gone off.
Yet you feared for me
I never understood why
Maybe because I am in love with pain
And you’ve been trying to set me free.

The winds of change are blowing
Changing directions, dancing
I’m caught in the current
No longer resisting this change.
It carries the sound of my heartbeat
With the fragrance of a new day
Through these sands of time
Changing, forever changing.

There is no permanence
This I have learned with time
These fleeting moments I cherish more
For we’re just like autumn leaves.
I close my eyes and see you smiling
Not so far away, yet not close enough
The leaves keep twirling
Until we too find ourselves lost.

~*~*~

I received the Perfect Poet Award for Week 41. I am honored to receive the award and I accept it. The above is my acceptance poem. I would like to nominate Lady Pen for the next award.

I am also submitting the above for Thursday Poets’ Rally Week 42 hosted by Jingle

Forgotten Conversations

Conversations

~*~*~

With a voice so haunting
Like a prophecy spoken aloud
Comes a whisper from the depths
Of a past I was once fond of
Meandering into the crevices
And cracks of my long forsaken heart
Like an unwanted guest,
To stay, but to never depart.

The fountainhead of time mingles
With threads of three colors
Woven into a delicate fabric
Entwined in an embrace, fluid
Changing, mixing, merging
Yet always remaining the same
The form has a taste of permanence
And a ring of eternity, going up in flames.

Stuck like a broken record,
Cacophonous is the bell
That tolls every morning at dawn
The best moments of the past
Have been recorded over
With silence and a black screen
The memories fade to the background
The smiles can no longer be seen.

Vultures come to feast on the carcass
Left behind by words once said
Meant to be obliterated by the listener,
But forced to live on in the dead
It takes two to forget a memory
Or one, if the other never speaks
But when voices whisper in my ear
They find their words cannot be obsolete.

Maybe the words fade to dust
Hidden under layers of faltered trust
And time cannot change
The ash of these remains
Dangling from a troubled mind
So broken and so unkind
And I am always hanging on
To these forgotten conversations, so long.

~*~*~

I’m submitting the above for Thursday Poets’ Rally Week 39, hosted by Jingle.

Emotionless

Perfect Poet Award Week 37

I accept the Perfect Poet Award for week 37. Thank you Jingle for the award. I would like to nominate Jingle to receive the next award!

My acceptance poem is below. I wrote this many years ago (about six years ago), just thought I should put it up sometime. Good to compare my older stuff with now. We’re always evolving, aren’t we?

~*~*~

Emotionless, I slip into the black
What I once felt can never come back
The rain that once poured forth
Has turned to the ocean soaked in blood
Laughing at my open wounds
I feel myself fall into the infinite mud

Emotionless, I walk oblivious of all
I’ve come so far, I feel not the fall
The winds are getting stronger
As the ashes and snow cover the ground
Smiling on forever
One can hear failure’s abhorred sound

Emotionless, I take a run into the night
No matter what I do, I’ll never win this fight
The waves have become so violent
The celestial lightning shows us his wrath
I lay here scarred so very deep
As the darkness seeps into my long forgotten path

Emotionless, I ride apathetic of the storm
I find myself fading of solid form
The sun happens to be melting the snow
Forming rivers of lost souls, rivers of death
I have been left forsaken
Left to die with a thousand sinful heathens

Emotionless, I dash into an open field
Claustrophobia my defense, my only remaining shield
The leaves form a swirling tower
Threatening to engulf me in their fiery flames
Yet I stand there calmly frowning
Tired of playing these useless subliminal games

Emotionless no more, the emotions are returning
For all that I’ve lost, I find myself yearning
Silent is the atmosphere, violet is the sky
Tomorrow is lost forever
The tears roll down my cheeks as I wait here to die
Just die and fade, never to be found, never

For emotionless I am, emotionless forever…

~*~*~

Okay I know that one is dark and depressing. I used to consider it a masterpiece back then, but I guess I don’t like it as much anymore.

The Wind

Waiting for the Wind

~*~*~

Sounds of faint music
Can be heard in the distance,
Like spring coming early,
Showering warmth in the cold air,
Though the night has not ended,
Nor are the morning rays near.

The winds have softly spoken,
Like vines entwined in an embrace,
Never wanting to let go of the warmth
Brought upon by the feeling of emptiness
Nearing as time flies by,
The moment to embark has come.

A solitary fragrance lingers on,
Like a tribute to this momentary feeling,
Declaring its will to wait,
Until the day the wind blows again
Bringing with it the affection
Felt in a single evanescent moment.

~*~*~