Tag Archives: happiness

A Vial of Tears

Capturing Tears (Image found via Google Image Search)

~*~*~

And I’m falling
Falling till I can’t feel anymore,
Falling till my senses fade,
Leaving me with nothing
Except the memories of laughter
That I gave up long ago.

Tainted by thorns,
I lie like a dream unrequited,
Encumbered by the weight of existence,
Hanging heavy over the tears
That refuse to choke my voice,
And I am waiting
For the blood to surface
So I can have my taste of pain.

Solitary confinement,
Two words tingling my tongue,
For it is all that I have come to desire
Over the seconds that fly by
Keeping me locked in
With a feeling of despair,
I want to fly to a far off place
To bid my time alone
Till I lay down to close my eyes forever.

The laughing voices echo
From the depths of my past
‘This sound that I gave up long ago
For a vial of tears
More precious than diamonds
That light the night sky.

No tears, no sounds,
No vials of madness
Can make my heart long
To wish for more
Than the alms given,
Mendicants cannot dream
To be Kings.

But the tears too have left me,
How unreliable they have been
What must I depend on next
To keep my clock ticking?
The folly of these tears
Will not be forgotten
As the subterfuge
Of those lost sounds
Pierce my memory sharply,
Emotions are tricksters.

The glass lies broken,
The content spilled
Across the floor,
The thistle has overgrown,
The roses have died,
The tears slipped
And escaped me,
The laughter is long gone,
I’m left with only apathy,
With which to pick up
The broken shards of glass.

~*~*~

Lessons

Lost in Space and Time

~*~*~

Are there pain killers for a broken heart?
For the ache intensifies all through the day.
Exhaustion clings fast, pulling me under the waves.
The tears soak my pillow, as my eyes close for the night.

Maybe life takes us for a rough ride,
So we can appreciate the streaks of joy,
In this otherwise disenchanting life.

I never thought, before words slipped my mouth,
And you knew more than I cared to tell.
Yet, never did I stop this stream of thoughts,
I just believed you would always understand.

I never felt the need to hide myself,
From the people who mattered to me most,
Only that I never meant enough to them.

Oceans of regret lay in front of me,
My impulsiveness always leading to roads,
Of mistakes I never had intentions to make,
But actions based on raw emotion always lead to misery.

Though I always find myself drowning in fits of emotion,
Sometimes the recklessness of the heart pays off,
In rare moments of absolution.

I could never stand to be disappointed,
Always taking to heart words spoken by another,
Trusting where I never should have dared to trust,
Only to face these demons called frustration.

The heart is naive, like an innocent child,
Sometimes it needs to feel this disillusionment,
To grow wise with regard to this unfair world.

What did I not do to keep this thread from breaking?
Yet, still did the thread sever, without a hint,
Of even the faintest weakness,
And I found myself falling to the ground.

The ground was hard, and unfriendly,
Yet had I not been hurt so badly,
How could my real friends have picked me up?

Always did I try to understand, another’s circumstances,
Though I was rarely understood,
And the voices in my head still haunt me,
Why should I not judge, when others always do.

Yet, how could I have chosen to be critical of their actions,
For what right do we have to judge,
When we ourselves are flawed?

In this world where honesty and ethics have no place,
Still did I try my best to do the right.
Often I found myself being left behind,
Even by those for whom I took a strong stand.

Had I faltered in my choices between right and wrong,
The guilt would have followed me around for life,
Like the pain seeping through the walls of this prison.

It is only with sadness, with the taste of salty tears,
That we learn to appreciate the ring of laughter.
It is only with mistakes and failures,
That we learn to pick ourselves up when we fall.

So I walk this road ahead of me,
As a smile touches the corners of my lips,
And I walk into the embracing arms of life.

~*~*~

Note: No internet connection at home, so it will be hard for me to reply to posts and visit fellow bloggers. I would just like to Apologize in advance. Have a great weekend!