Coffee Addiction

6022148104_13f09cf21c_o

 

~*~*~

A coffee addiction,
Growing stronger each day,
And I find I cannot,
Keep my eyes open,
I find I cannot focus,
Without a sip of,
Without the scent of,
Coffee in the air.
The beans tell stories,
Of lives they have lived,
Filling the air with richness,
To make up for our lack,
Of life each day.

Maybe I am searching,
For truth in these beans,
My mind is muddled,
With garbage,
My thoughts are hazy,
And I am always pining,
For clarity in my life,
The life I didn’t ask to live.
The aroma weaves,
Through the soul,
Like the wand of a magician,
Creating illusions,
Binding them to reason,
And still a sense of wonder,
Hangs on to the pinnacle of the mind,
Before the thoughts take a leap,
Into the abyss below.

I never wanted
My mind to wander,
Into unfathomable lands,
Straying from my needs,
To a land of only wants,
Where reason and practicality,
Have no place,
Where my heart works against,
The rationality of my mind.

The fragrance of coffee keeps me sane,
A temporary sanity throughout the day,
Until I have drunk too much,
And my head starts spinning,
I know not any longer,
Why the heart yearns,
For pasts thrown away,
And impossible futures,
Why the mind knows reason,
But acts irrationally,
Why does only the unattainable,
Appeal to this brat of a mind?

A voice like a whisper,
Catches me off my guard,
Through this coffee addiction,
A voice of reason can still be heard,
And I know days of withdrawal,
Are needed now,
After which I will be fine,
Smiling as always,
Still seeking the unknown,
But this time I won’t get lost.

~*~*~

Just an Escape

Escape by deadpoet88
Escape by deadpoet88

~*~*~

Hey you, my thoughtless whisper,
Floating out there in the void of my mind,
Stop, don’t fly away from me,
Please stay with me just this one time.
My thoughts have been wandering,
Nightmares have begun to feel like real life,
This drop of darkness keeps me grounded,
As I watch my heart slowly turn to ice.

Maybe this is what they call growing older,
This need to be stabbed just to know you’re still alive,
But like an addiction, the dosage gets higher,
For inside, it’s the dead and empty feelings that thrive.
I no longer know if my den keeps me sane,
Or whether it’s an escape from reality, in which I hide,
As I watch those closest to me burn as they catch fire,
I wonder, am I really numb or just a coward inside?

There are those days, when the light shines brightly,
And I feel more than I’ve felt in years,
But I know, as I try to hang on to the sunlight,
My heart will freeze over, taking with it all my tears.
From a distance, I can feel the warmth,
But as I step closer, all I feel is the biting cold,
And in frustration, I let the emptiness wash over me,
Now it’s easier to just escape, if truth be told.

~*~*~

Stranger

Winter Road by deadpoet88
Winding Road by deadpoet88

~*~*~

Howdy Stranger,
Here you are, just passing by,
Won’t you stay a while,
And share a piece of your mind?
I promise, I will sit here listening,
To the stories you’ve got to tell
Of your wandering and pondering,
And the longing of your heart.

I once had rivers of words to share,
But now my river runs dry,
For I find myself become colder as I grow older,
And my yearnings have been set aside.
Don’t let that stop you from speaking,
For it does not mean that I do not care,
This is all I cherish now, oh Stranger,
To remember as time passes me by.

Was the road long and winding,
The road that brought you here?
Who do you remember the best,
From all the faces you hold dear?
My road was straightforward,
But my stubborn soul took a detour,
And never could I find my road again,
Now I’m a lost wanderer, trying to get home.

Where are you heading, dear Stranger,
Do you even know, or do you just wander,
Looking for a whim to hold your hand,
As you follow in blindfolds?
Choose your whims carefully,
And peek through the cracks
To make sure you don’t wander too far
From all that you have come to care for.

It’s almost time for you to leave,
To catch up with the winding river,
As it guides you to the greater ocean,
Where I hope you find what you’re searching for.
I know, you will never look back
At this careless moment,
And the only sign that you were here
Will be this melted candle wax left behind.

~*~*~

A Lunatic’s Poem

Anchor - Found via Google Image Search
Anchor – Found via Google Image Search

~*~*~

There is a dream
That comes back to me
Over and over again
Like the broken ties
Of a friendship
Long forgotten
The early memories
Are hazy at the edges
And I am no longer sure
Whether I dreamed up
My entire life
Or my dreams
Are figments of reality.

The faces are crystal clear
But I feel detached,
Like a third person
Observing from above
Helplessly watching
As the doors open and close
And I know the danger
But not once have I
Successfully stopped myself
From accepting or declining
The roads and their given doors.

So I walk, like a zombie,
Winding as the road winds
Aimlessly searching
For a hint of reality
Longing to feel more
Than the cold tin
Lodged in my heart
For I have seen
The selfish creature
Which resides
In the depths of my soul
And this creature
Consumes me in its flames
But though I burn
No one sees me burning
Until they too have been singed.

There is a deep darkness
Which seeped into my soul
And I learned to love it
As one would love a child
But now it weighs upon me
Like an anchor
Keeping me rooted
While I long to sail away
For now there is much more
To love in this life
And a choice is hanging
Heavy over my head
Either the anchor keeps me here
Or I let go and sail the seas.

I have pondered too much now
Sweet slumber falls heavy
Upon my eyelashes
But I long to stay wide awake
For the world never sleeps
And I long to feel alive
From within for a change
I long to feel some warmth
Inside of my cold soul
But alas, sleep is upon me
Like a tyrant with his demands
And the words flutter away
Even before they hit my pillow.

~*~*~

Decay

Decay - Found via Google Image Search
Decay – Found via Google Image Search

~*~*~

There is a staleness,
Deep inside of me,
A certain rot,
That shows
In my actions,
And words
But I do not know
How to reverse
The effect of decay.

My mind
Has become moldy
Nothing works
I only think
Deep dark thoughts
Putrid, sour,
The stench
Becomes overpowering
The unnatural smell
Is that of my mind
Rotting away.

My feelings
Speak of decay
There is little
But black damp
Thoughts floating
Souring everything
They touch
Until everyone
Around me
Shy away,
Leaving me alone
With the stench
Of my rotten heart.

I know
I should walk
With a warning sign
Hanging like a noose
Around my neck,
To keep all away
From the decay
In me, infectious
Unwanted
Diseased,
But somewhere
I dare to hope
That someone
Won’t hate me
For the darkness
And dark decay.

~*~*~

Dark Places

Darkness - From Google Search
Darkness – Found via Google Search

~*~*~

I know now,
How undeserving
I have always been,
Of the happiness
Most people receive,
And I know,
I was always a fool,
To long for the impossible,
To want something more,
For such things are given,
Only to people in the rainbows,
Never to dark souls like my own.

And now I have come
To accept this darkness,
Where I can hide
With my plastic smile,
And a knife in my hands,
To fend off all intruders,
I no longer wish for light,
As the darkness is my only friend,
And I know I am safe here,
From the turning of the world,
I have come to accept
My everlasting solitude,
And I long for nothing more.

~*~*~

Snow

Wintry Madness by deadpoet88

~*~*~

The snow dances in spirals,
Easily carried away
By the folly of the wind
Like the naive heart
Gets trapped by a smile
Or the look of a friendly face.

The snow swirls in patterns
Sometimes lifted up like a bubble
And you can almost reach out
To capture a snowflake
Frozen in the air for a split second
Until the wind nudges it on its way.

This wintry silence is piercing,
Yet like a serene orchestra
You can feel it flowing
Through your very veins
And you are lost in a white trance
As the snow floats down from heaven.

Every flake sparkles in the light
As if the sky has become generous
And is pouring diamonds
You feel afraid to tread
Over this carpet of gemstones,
Lest you take away their shine.

But alas, you must walk
Through the wintry night
Pondering over all you have lost
And  you know nothing was worth
More than what lit you up with a smile
Not even the sparkles falling to the ground.

~*~*~

This is my world, my wintry madness. I hope the snowflakes leave a trail of lingering warmth as they slip off your skin…

%d bloggers like this: