Category Archives: life

Excuses

Vanilla

~*~*~

Panic was always the first thought,
Which crossed the fields of my mind,
As I sat pondering over the little troubles,
Flooding the vacuum with their presence.

Yet, never could I understand why big problems,
Were problems at all for those around me.
For sometimes life came too easy,
And I needed to watch myself fall.

Maybe I talk because I have nothing to say,
But only wish to fill the empty silence,
Of thoughts unspoken, thoughts unheard,
Thoughts running mad in space and time.

So nonsense spilled out from my heart,
In words hidden behind a veil,
Their meaning crystal clear to me,
Yet meaningless to all those who listened.

I always seemed reckless in the eyes of others,
Never taking responsibility for more than myself,
And hard work was a word alien to me,
Yet the ring of the phrase was so familiar.

I always said to myself that the future is waiting,
It will never be out of reach,
Yet somehow these roads leading to destruction,
Always tried to stray me from my goals.

Why is it that this sinking feeling attracts me,
Like a moth to a street lamp?
When all others around me do all they can,
To soar to the ends of the sky.

Stars look so beautiful, shining so brightly,
Unattainable in every respect,
Yet all I pine for is to touch them,
As they are all that keeps me rooted to the ground.

And I sit in silence, listening,
Hearing nothing, yet hearing all,
Thinking too little, thinking too much,
Searching for peace in the midst of chaos.

A little voice at the back of my mind,
Shouts out a single word,
Making me shudder to think,
That this is all that I’ve brought myself to…

“Excuses”

~*~*~

Motion Blur

Motion Blur

~*~*~

I am standing very still,
As I watch this life pass me by,
Without waiting for me to catch up.

They all moved on, from this moment,
But I found myself stuck, feet planted,
Just distant thoughts of evanescent dreams,
Reaching out to pull me back to the present.

And I am stuck in time,
Unable to take a step forward,
And I cannot go back.

The naïvety of love drowned in me,
The innocence to trust unconditionally.
Now I pine constantly to feel without pain,
To reach a state of being comfortably numb.

I watch the colors merge into white,
As they envelop me in a swirling wind,
And I find, time has passed me by.

The thoughts have become a blur,
I cannot fathom where one begins and another ends.
Yet I can still see myself clearly,
Standing in the midst of this bedlam.

The voices from the past echo,
Through the crevices of my mind,
But all I can hear is noise.

I was always so caught up in this inner strife,
I had forgotten what it meant to breathe.
Soon even the voices in my head passed me by,
And I found myself trapped behind these bars.

The footsteps can be heard,
Ringing through the silence,
But they can never be seen.

My footsteps were lost in the illusion of space,
No matter where I turned,
I was greeted, by only darkness.
And I could hear the distant siren of a train.

The siren of the train too was a blur,
Decoded from the depths of time,
Heard so faintly I thought it to be a lie.

I went running, trying so hard to catch up,
Out of breath, but trying harder,
That I might reach the handle of this train,
But the train of life left, it carried on without me.

There is only one thing to do now,
To start over from scratch,
And learn to walk hand-in-hand with time.

~*~*~

Note: The above photograph was found Here. I was greatly inspired by it to write the above piece.

Note #2: Apologies to everyone who has been commenting on my blog and not getting comments in return, or receiving them very late. I don’t have Internet connection at home right now, because of which all blogging I do, has to be done from work. It is not always the easiest place to blog from, and over the last few days though I have come to my office to use the Internet, couldn’t quite find time to visit everyone. I will get down to it as soon as possible, which should be soon as I think either today or tomorrow my Internet connection at home should be activated. Thank you to everyone reading this!

Lapse

Lapse of gravity

~*~*~

The harmony of these illusions dissolve,
Under the influence of unfathomable pain.

Oh, ’twas but the death of a dream.
Did you hear the silence overwhelm?
All that remains is this path of annihilation,
Holding back the recesses of life.

The valley of solitude darkens,
As the sun hides behind the shadow of the Moon.
Lost is the path to salvation,
The path once lit with the echo of laughter.
Forever remains this broken land,
Cracked and forsaken,
Under the reign of the Moon.
And a solitary thought crosses
The fields of this mind.

A lone splinter of wood burns,
Under the intensity of your gaze.
A silent whisper traverses
The depths of space and time,
Only to fall upon this moment,
With a splash of expression.
These words writ in stone,
Wash over the singularity of this existence,
With an absolution so far unknown.

And the world lets out a sigh,
A single slip of emotion,
A single flash of weakness,
And the chaos softly sets in.

It took only one infinitesimal mistake,
One momentary lapse of reason.

~*~*~

~d34dp037~


Lessons

Lost in Space and Time

~*~*~

Are there pain killers for a broken heart?
For the ache intensifies all through the day.
Exhaustion clings fast, pulling me under the waves.
The tears soak my pillow, as my eyes close for the night.

Maybe life takes us for a rough ride,
So we can appreciate the streaks of joy,
In this otherwise disenchanting life.

I never thought, before words slipped my mouth,
And you knew more than I cared to tell.
Yet, never did I stop this stream of thoughts,
I just believed you would always understand.

I never felt the need to hide myself,
From the people who mattered to me most,
Only that I never meant enough to them.

Oceans of regret lay in front of me,
My impulsiveness always leading to roads,
Of mistakes I never had intentions to make,
But actions based on raw emotion always lead to misery.

Though I always find myself drowning in fits of emotion,
Sometimes the recklessness of the heart pays off,
In rare moments of absolution.

I could never stand to be disappointed,
Always taking to heart words spoken by another,
Trusting where I never should have dared to trust,
Only to face these demons called frustration.

The heart is naive, like an innocent child,
Sometimes it needs to feel this disillusionment,
To grow wise with regard to this unfair world.

What did I not do to keep this thread from breaking?
Yet, still did the thread sever, without a hint,
Of even the faintest weakness,
And I found myself falling to the ground.

The ground was hard, and unfriendly,
Yet had I not been hurt so badly,
How could my real friends have picked me up?

Always did I try to understand, another’s circumstances,
Though I was rarely understood,
And the voices in my head still haunt me,
Why should I not judge, when others always do.

Yet, how could I have chosen to be critical of their actions,
For what right do we have to judge,
When we ourselves are flawed?

In this world where honesty and ethics have no place,
Still did I try my best to do the right.
Often I found myself being left behind,
Even by those for whom I took a strong stand.

Had I faltered in my choices between right and wrong,
The guilt would have followed me around for life,
Like the pain seeping through the walls of this prison.

It is only with sadness, with the taste of salty tears,
That we learn to appreciate the ring of laughter.
It is only with mistakes and failures,
That we learn to pick ourselves up when we fall.

So I walk this road ahead of me,
As a smile touches the corners of my lips,
And I walk into the embracing arms of life.

~*~*~

Note: No internet connection at home, so it will be hard for me to reply to posts and visit fellow bloggers. I would just like to Apologize in advance. Have a great weekend!

Demons

Demons of the Past

~*~*~

The demons of our past stand naked,
Running free through the fields of our mind.
And we hide, we hide from ourselves,
This past which cannot be denied.

The ranger passes through, singing,
And the mist does slowly disappear.
Yet the demons go on cowering,
In these songs we hold so dear.

Raging through the wild dust storms,
These demons bring naught but strife.
Lurking, waiting, to pounce upon us,
As we go about trying to live this short life.

The rain pours, and the willow whispers,
Yet all that can be heard are the voices.
These demons, always screaming in the head,
Of the past, and once made choices.

Exhaustion seeps into the mind so silently,
Exacerbating the insanity within these thoughts.
The demons feed with such power,
The battle seems lost even before it has been fought.

Somewhere along the paths of destruction,
Lie the shadows that evolve from the light.
And these demons striving so hard to kill from within us,
Too must die at the hands of the fading night.

~*~*~

I bow down to the demons,
For I was but a truant,
Waiting in the darkness,
Never stepping into the light.

~*~*~

And fellow bloggers and readers, I am back! I am just too much in love with writing to take a break. Glad the phase is over, glad that I could make up my mind.

Writ in Stone

Written Verse

~*~*~

The past is writ in stone,
The present fluid,
The future hazy.

Burn the stone, but the past cannot be erased,
Break it, but the words shall remain,
Bury it, but it shall never decay.

The words written are permanent,
They may seem to fade,
But will come back someday with clarity.

The past cannot be avoided,
Cannot be forgotten,
Cannot be annihilated.

The past is, and shall always be words writ in stone…

~*~*~

We are but the slaves of Time,
Waiting silently for the fall of darkness,
Conquering the last breath on our lips.

The words whispered in the depths of the past,
Echo in these gifts bestowed upon us,
They are but a faint fragrance lost in the wind.

Broken are the words that travel around the world,
Lost are the memories that forged them,
As the sands bury the smiles lingering softly in the air.

The Past still lives on, permanent, unmoved,
Sometimes forgotten, sometimes newly discovered,
Existing always, writ in stone.

~*~*~

False words cannot alter,
That which has already passed,
For the truth prevails above all.

We may strive to hide behind a mask,
Some behind good, others behind evil,
But a mask cannot hide us from ourselves.

We hide from a past out to haunt us,
As if shadows could erase who we are,
Alas, we only obliterate that which could have been.

We regret, we fight, we cower in the darkness,
All in vain, as we choose an enemy undefeated,
For the past is writ in stone.

~*~*~