Blindly Walking

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Here’s an old post I found on another one of my blogs. Somehow I just love how this ends, so I thought I’d post it here.

~*~*~

I am walking blindly
Looking nowhere
Knowing nothing,
But I am not lost
For there is nowhere
That I want to be
There is no place
To which I am going.

I had come
To know myself
As the road wound
Round and round
There were rare
Glimpses of good
But more a mask
I wore than true skin
For I had to hide
My beloved ugliness.

My dark deception
Led more astray
For a mask
Is always misleading
No matter how little
Is covered
But all realized
Sooner or later
The dark
Disposition
Of my tainted soul
And they took
The first train home.

So blindly
I stumbled and fell
But no mistakes
Could teach me
How to walk
Without falling
Or maybe I refused
To learn
And my stubbornness
My ideas of life
Kept tripping me
At every step.

So now I stand here
With nothing
No hopes
No dreams
Only compromises
With life
All my ideals
And beliefs shattered
All my hopes
And desires forsaken
I long for nothing now
Except solitude.

Alas, I know someday
I shall meet a fork
On this lonely road
And I will be forced
To choose between
Two roads of destruction
And tempted though I am
To walk away from both
I am only a blind beggar
Stumbling along the way
With no choice at all
For how are two roads
Each leading
To a different monster
A choice in any way?

~*~*~

Phoenix

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The Fire of the Dawn by @deadpoet88

~*~*~

I awoke, in silence
Submerged under water
Feeling the rush of calm chaos
Bubbling up to the surface

A deafening thirst for insanity
Only to be stuck in a moment
Of the purest tranquility
As the world went spiraling down

And somewhere, the voices faded
As my universe darkened
Change the only constant
Constantly pushing me under

I could not be perfect
Honestly, I never tried
One learns to notice these flashes
Of disappointment in their eyes

They always said I was nothing
Just a stranger passing by
Forever to be forgotten
With wings plucked clean and tied

I always was too stubborn
To stay broken, to stay shattered
Some called it delusion
Others a hopelessly lost cause

But what choice did I have?
Except to throw on another smile
And hide this darkness inside
Listening to the echoes of hysterical laughter

But what choice did I have?
To stay buried under giants
Or to grow wings from the fiery chasms
And rise from the ashes and fly

~*~*~