Escape by deadpoet88

Just an Escape

Escape by deadpoet88
Escape by deadpoet88

~*~*~

Hey you, my thoughtless whisper,
Floating out there in the void of my mind,
Stop, don’t fly away from me,
Please stay with me just this one time.
My thoughts have been wandering,
Nightmares have begun to feel like real life,
This drop of darkness keeps me grounded,
As I watch my heart slowly turn to ice.

Maybe this is what they call growing older,
This need to be stabbed just to know you’re still alive,
But like an addiction, the dosage gets higher,
For inside, it’s the dead and empty feelings that thrive.
I no longer know if my den keeps me sane,
Or whether it’s an escape from reality, in which I hide,
As I watch those closest to me burn as they catch fire,
I wonder, am I really numb or just a coward inside?

There are those days, when the light shines brightly,
And I feel more than I’ve felt in years,
But I know, as I try to hang on to the sunlight,
My heart will freeze over, taking with it all my tears.
From a distance, I can feel the warmth,
But as I step closer, all I feel is the biting cold,
And in frustration, I let the emptiness wash over me,
Now it’s easier to just escape, if truth be told.

~*~*~

Winter Road by deadpoet88

Stranger

Winter Road by deadpoet88
Winding Road by deadpoet88

~*~*~

Howdy Stranger,
Here you are, just passing by,
Won’t you stay a while,
And share a piece of your mind?
I promise, I will sit here listening,
To the stories you’ve got to tell
Of your wandering and pondering,
And the longing of your heart.

I once had rivers of words to share,
But now my river runs dry,
For I find myself become colder as I grow older,
And my yearnings have been set aside.
Don’t let that stop you from speaking,
For it does not mean that I do not care,
This is all I cherish now, oh Stranger,
To remember as time passes me by.

Was the road long and winding,
The road that brought you here?
Who do you remember the best,
From all the faces you hold dear?
My road was straightforward,
But my stubborn soul took a detour,
And never could I find my road again,
Now I’m a lost wanderer, trying to get home.

Where are you heading, dear Stranger,
Do you even know, or do you just wander,
Looking for a whim to hold your hand,
As you follow in blindfolds?
Choose your whims carefully,
And peek through the cracks
To make sure you don’t wander too far
From all that you have come to care for.

It’s almost time for you to leave,
To catch up with the winding river,
As it guides you to the greater ocean,
Where I hope you find what you’re searching for.
I know, you will never look back
At this careless moment,
And the only sign that you were here
Will be this melted candle wax left behind.

~*~*~

A Lunatic’s Poem

Anchor - Found via Google Image Search
Anchor – Found via Google Image Search

~*~*~

There is a dream
That comes back to me
Over and over again
Like the broken ties
Of a friendship
Long forgotten
The early memories
Are hazy at the edges
And I am no longer sure
Whether I dreamed up
My entire life
Or my dreams
Are figments of reality.

The faces are crystal clear
But I feel detached,
Like a third person
Observing from above
Helplessly watching
As the doors open and close
And I know the danger
But not once have I
Successfully stopped myself
From accepting or declining
The roads and their given doors.

So I walk, like a zombie,
Winding as the road winds
Aimlessly searching
For a hint of reality
Longing to feel more
Than the cold tin
Lodged in my heart
For I have seen
The selfish creature
Which resides
In the depths of my soul
And this creature
Consumes me in its flames
But though I burn
No one sees me burning
Until they too have been singed.

There is a deep darkness
Which seeped into my soul
And I learned to love it
As one would love a child
But now it weighs upon me
Like an anchor
Keeping me rooted
While I long to sail away
For now there is much more
To love in this life
And a choice is hanging
Heavy over my head
Either the anchor keeps me here
Or I let go and sail the seas.

I have pondered too much now
Sweet slumber falls heavy
Upon my eyelashes
But I long to stay wide awake
For the world never sleeps
And I long to feel alive
From within for a change
I long to feel some warmth
Inside of my cold soul
But alas, sleep is upon me
Like a tyrant with his demands
And the words flutter away
Even before they hit my pillow.

~*~*~

DSC_0067-4

Snow

Wintry Madness by deadpoet88

~*~*~

The snow dances in spirals,
Easily carried away
By the folly of the wind
Like the naive heart
Gets trapped by a smile
Or the look of a friendly face.

The snow swirls in patterns
Sometimes lifted up like a bubble
And you can almost reach out
To capture a snowflake
Frozen in the air for a split second
Until the wind nudges it on its way.

This wintry silence is piercing,
Yet like a serene orchestra
You can feel it flowing
Through your very veins
And you are lost in a white trance
As the snow floats down from heaven.

Every flake sparkles in the light
As if the sky has become generous
And is pouring diamonds
You feel afraid to tread
Over this carpet of gemstones,
Lest you take away their shine.

But alas, you must walk
Through the wintry night
Pondering over all you have lost
And  you know nothing was worth
More than what lit you up with a smile
Not even the sparkles falling to the ground.

~*~*~

"Greeting the Ocean" by deadpoet88

A Pocketful of Sand

“Greeting the Ocean” by deadpoet88

~*~*~

I sat alone by the seashore
Waiting for the waves to catch me
And take me out to sea
Yet I felt a strange fear
Of being washed up on alien shores
And finding the emptiness that haunts me.

The sands were soft under my feet

As the sea would come to greet me
With a delightful coolness
And splash me when I least expected>
Leaving the taste of lingering salt on my tongue
And the rough sand clinging to my dress.

I danced a waltz with the ocean

Catching the water in the cup of my hand
As the waves rolled higher, engulfing more sand
And there was no one I wanted but you
To hold my hand as I walked on
Into the ocean to greet the highest wave.

I surrendered to the saline waters

Letting it play tug of war with my body
I watched the pebbles roll out beside me
Too feeble to resist the smoothing waves
And crab peeked through the salty liquid
Before being carried out to sea.

Then I found myself standing

As the waves crashed against me
And took me closer to peace
And I walked away from the salty sea
With an unexpected gift left by the ocean
A pocketful of sand and a smile on my lips.

~*~*~
There is something about the ocean which draws me towards it. I guess most people must feel this way about the ocean, but I somehow believe that I have such a liking for it because I spent much of my childhood living near it. I didn’t visit it that often, but if I had known what a wonderful the sea is at that time, I’m sure I would’ve gone there every chance I had. Some of my earliest memories are about beaches, seashells, and the sound of the waves. Somehow I’m feeling kind of nostalgic about it. There is nothing like sitting in the water as the waves lap over you. I can just sit and listen forever.

The Clock is Ticking

The Sands of Time (Google Image Search)

~*~*~

I’ve always been looking for silence
But the ticking clock only grows louder
With every second lost to the past.

I find it strange sometimes,
How I only want to be an observer
Rather than a participant in the game of life.

The winds of change are ever blowing,
And I am swept up off my feet
When all I want to do is stand still
And breathe in the cool air.

The sands of my consciousness
Slip through my fingers and fall
Till I am lost in sweet slumber
With silent hopes of never waking.

I know now that I wish for nothing
Yet my heart still sighs for freedom
Maybe someday I shall be forgiven
Or maybe roads are meant to be lonely.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder
Whether I did a single thing right
Maybe my intentions weren’t always bad
But the outcomes never turned out as planned.

I have come to know myself
And the truth in all my lies
I am not who I thought I was,
How can I believe in what was never there?

The road I am walking leads nowhere
But I do not feel unhappy
Knowing of my futile existence,
Maybe I would not have it any other way.

The clock is ticking this life away
Every moment is just an echo
Of the disillusionment I have come to feel.

I am waiting every sleepless night
For the dawn to break upon my world
And play this delusive game of chance.

~*~*~

A Vial of Tears

Capturing Tears (Image found via Google Image Search)

~*~*~

And I’m falling
Falling till I can’t feel anymore,
Falling till my senses fade,
Leaving me with nothing
Except the memories of laughter
That I gave up long ago.

Tainted by thorns,
I lie like a dream unrequited,
Encumbered by the weight of existence,
Hanging heavy over the tears
That refuse to choke my voice,
And I am waiting
For the blood to surface
So I can have my taste of pain.

Solitary confinement,
Two words tingling my tongue,
For it is all that I have come to desire
Over the seconds that fly by
Keeping me locked in
With a feeling of despair,
I want to fly to a far off place
To bid my time alone
Till I lay down to close my eyes forever.

The laughing voices echo
From the depths of my past
‘This sound that I gave up long ago
For a vial of tears
More precious than diamonds
That light the night sky.

No tears, no sounds,
No vials of madness
Can make my heart long
To wish for more
Than the alms given,
Mendicants cannot dream
To be Kings.

But the tears too have left me,
How unreliable they have been
What must I depend on next
To keep my clock ticking?
The folly of these tears
Will not be forgotten
As the subterfuge
Of those lost sounds
Pierce my memory sharply,
Emotions are tricksters.

The glass lies broken,
The content spilled
Across the floor,
The thistle has overgrown,
The roses have died,
The tears slipped
And escaped me,
The laughter is long gone,
I’m left with only apathy,
With which to pick up
The broken shards of glass.

~*~*~

This is my world, my wintry madness. I hope the snowflakes leave a trail of lingering warmth as they slip off your skin…

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