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A Lost Cause?

Alibagh

It is a sunny day and the birds are chirping,
But inside my head you will only find a raging storm.
Been in conflict forever, always divided in two,
Yet I look not around me with feelings of scorn.

“Lie in conflict, lie in pain, lie until you become insane,
Waste away the life that could have been,
While the altercation of your mind drowns you within.
Alas, thou squander thyself with thine own hands…”

It is in my heart that I keep these lies so safely,
All that leaves my lips is the naked truth.
For though we try so hard to cover up our bodies,
The nakedness of our minds will find a way to shine through.

“Aye, the truth she says! What truth?
In a world where all wish to live behind a veil of fallacy,
What would one get by wearing a sword of honesty?
Oh the despair, oh the despair!”

Long lost are the thoughts that bleed through my heart,
And smear the pages with black blood.
Forever I shall wait, as the red drops pour forth,
Leaving behind a numbness, an empty cold void.

“What know thee of emptiness, what know thee of eternity?
They are but exaggerations of thy heart.
There is no emptiness, there is no forever,
Lest thee permit them to prevail.”

It matters not who enters, nor who chooses to leave,
As the vacuum only grows and eternal time keeps ticking.
One cannot be the remedy of wounds left by another,
The cold-blooded massacre of a heart cannot be endured.

“Ah, but hearts were meant to be broken,
To be crushed and discarded  like autumn leaves.
There is no such thing, I say, there is no such thing!
Yet all still believe in this word called love.”

Time ticks away, like a bomb set to explode,
It damages more than it can repair.
Words when spoken, leave hearts so broken,
We are always running, far from our darkest fears.

“Do you fear it Dearie, do you fear like I do?
Fear living more than dying, I do.
Time heals Dearie, time heals all,
Sometimes I feel it would be easier to take the fall.”

We try so hard to smile, doing things that make us frown,
Yet smile I cannot, for I see more than one should see,
We desire in our hearts most to be left broken winged,
For only then do we feel that we are alive and truly believe.

“Oh, how can one desire to be broken,
When one flinches at the slightest hint of pain?
In a world where sacrifice has no meaning,
How can one say they live their life, if not in vain?”

We spend our whole lives, building up from dust,
A life we were taught to dream of.
Achieve dreams once, then what is left,
Oblivion or another dream for a dreamer?

“Wake up you fools, from this crazy dream,
Before nightmare it turns out to be!
Wake up and see, wake up and see,
We are but puppets at the end of a string!”

Alas, we dance with the waves of the world,
Without reason, without doubt, like robots with a lost cause…

x——-x

This is a piece I have redone many times. Every time I fixed it up, not only were there drastic changes, but later I would never be satisfied. This is my third attempt at writing it. Though I must warn you, I may again feel the need to change it in the future. I shall put it up again in that case.

I need a small favor though, cannot think of an appropriate title for this poem. Any suggestions are welcome, and will be greatly appreciated! The current title needs to be changed.

It has been a while, a very long while…

Due to certain circumstances, I did not have the heart to blog, and to be frank, I still do not have the heart to, but I thought it’s about time I put up the thoughts of this lunatic, if only to prove this lunatic is still a lunatic...

Twas’ the shadow that fell upon the world, a shadow so strong, all were mesmerized. If only the people had seen it coming, if only they had forced the veil of darkness to cast itself side, if only they had worked to save their beloved land from the evil that lurked within…

Often I feel that the fate of the world will someday be as written in the above lines, unless we all take a stand to not only spread awareness but to also improve the world. In today’s world, The Dark Lord (I’m not talking about myself) is no Sauron or Lord Voldemort, but humankind itself. The only way to over throw this Dark Lord is for each of us to convert ourselves into the members of the Fellowship of the Rings, or for all of us to become Harry Potters. Ah but it seems there is still a slight confusion about why I am calling all of us fiends out to destroy the world, and why I am expecting us little fiends to convert into saviors.

I was reading an article the other day, about how compared to old times, people, as a whole has become much kinder and less tolerant of violence. The article was in fact talking about how these days every news channel you switch to, you find talk about violence, crime, wars, reasons to fill peoples’ heads with fear. Yet the truth is that compared to the old days, people have become less cruel to one another, and have learned to cooperate. In the old days, Kings could have your head chopped off for just walking in their garden (ironically, in today’s world, in place of having your head chopped off, you’ll land up getting sued, and this privilege is not only given to Kings…). In the old days, declaring war on each other was easy, and in today’s world, nations have to think it over very carefully before going to war, thus reducing the number of wars. In fact, even though we now have far superior weapons as compared to before, fewer people die in wars.

So now you’ll ask me why I say we’re all little Saurons running loose, after all, the world today is a better place to live in, than say five hundred years ago, right? (And after I explain, you will very kindly  point out that I haven’t done anything yet to change things, so I should quit complaining, but that’s not the point, because I can promise you that once I can make a difference, I definitely will.) The Industrial Revolution brought with it advancement in technology, improvement in health, and a much more advanced lifestyle for people who could afford it. It also brought with it an exponential increase in pollution, and global warming. It also brought with it, a new kind of corruption, fraud, a world which pulled everyone into a rat race. I’ll save the talk about corruption in a later post,  as Bertrand Russell cleverly said, “Sin is geographical”, and I’ll leave it at that.

The interesting but sad thing about pollution and global warming is that it has been an increasingly important problem, yet no one seems to take it seriously. We always get to hear about it, we always get to hear it is an issue that needs immediate attention, yet in spite of that, we go a step backwards and perendinate, no one wants to give it immediate attention. Most people don’t realize that they’ll have to start taking measures now itself, if only to see results in the far future, results worth putting the money and effort into. No one can solve the problem of global warming and pollution overnight.

The human species is a terribly impatient species, people hardly do anything unless they see the results of their actions almost immediately. No one wants to spend a penny unless they’ll get what they are spending it on right then. Half the world doesn’t even believe global warming is a real problem, and those of us who do, are unwilling to do anything about it, or keep saying there’s nothing that can be done. No one realizes that if we’re going to do anything about it, each and every one of us will have to become committed to the cause. Not only do we have to spread awareness, but we have to actively take part in making the world a better and cleaner place to live in.

Often we get to hear that there is not much that we can do, because the government, our leaders, are not doing anything for global warming. At the same time all of us know that it is the people who can move the government to take serious action about certain issues, and it is our duty to bring our voice to the government and make global warming an issue of immediate concern. There are other issues that are seemingly much more important, and with the Great Recession just put behind us, we feel we have little time to dedicate to global warming when the economy itself has just come out from such a great crisis. Yet if we continue procrastinating over this issue, there will be a day when there will be no one left on the planet who’ll worry about such issues like economic crises. I once read a very thought-provoking line, and though I cannot quote it exactly, it went something like this, “One should not worry too much over problems, as the real problems are the silent ones we all overlook.”

With oil prices rising, I’m sure the government should be coming up with ways to replace oil with better, more non-conventional forms of energy, but what does the government do? They subsidize the oil prices, thus making it more affordable for the masses, while paying the outrageously high oil prices. Even the public are ready to pay higher prices to fuel their cars. People say drive Hybrids, they’re efficient, and will help reduce pollution and bring down the effects of global warming. Car companies don’t seem to realize that most of the world’s population consists of poor people, who cannot afford cars at the price at which Hybrids sell. Thus only the élite can afford to be a part of reducing global warming and pollution. That shouldn’t stop everyone from doing the small things that they can do, still people don’t seem to care enough. The other day I went to an eating place near a lake, and two men sitting near the lake discarded their garbage in the lake, when the dustbin was just ten paces away from them! We continue to have this kind of attitude then before we know it, the whole human race will be wiped off this planet.

So what do I propose we do about it? I say, we do everything we can to help reduce pollution, educate the masses, instigate our government to start taking serious action to help reduce global warming, start recycling, use paper bags or jute bags instead of plastic ones, avoid throwing garbage on the road, conserve electricity and water, avoid wasting food, and the list is just endless. We don’t have the time for wasting it on fighting with each other and thinking only about what profit we can get out of everything. The only profit any of us can make is to think about the future and start trying to save it. In today’s world, we are the only ones who can make a difference, it is about time we take it in our hands to save ourselves from imminent doom. It is about time we realize that the world is ours, and we should treat it with respect. We have to stop being little Dark Lords, out to self-destruct.

The Unknown

…an empty page…white…void…silent…

Some days it is the waiting that keeps us moving, the waiting for which we breathe. It is always the unknown which fascinates us, always the mysteries that act as a magnet, attracting us iron filings towards it. What we have, what we know, we take for granted, until they too are forgotten or lost in the clutter of our minds, and thus once again left as the unknown. In becoming the unknown again, they still have not the luster for which we pine, as we assume that facts once known will be known forever. We forget that once they are out of our minds for long enough, they are as good as gone. On rare occasions we are reminded that they have become forgotten memories, but by then do they not cease to matter to us?

Is our knowledge meant to be a constant, or is it a variable, constantly increasing? They say one needs to empty their mind of useless knowledge, that some things must be forgotten to let newer knowledge enter one’s mind. Up to a certain extent, our knowledge does increase, from our childhood to growing up, we do have much more knowledge, but is there an upper limit on how much knowledge our brains can hold? Can it be that our minds have warped our memories to a different memory altogether to replace these forgotten memories? For faint memories always remain, do they not? Can anything be completely forgotten, completely erased off our minds? (Note: I am not talking about those early years which we are not supposed to remember anyways.)

I have wandered too far in a different direction, let me steer myself back to what I had to say. Why is it always the waiting, always the unknown, the unattainable that keeps us going? Why is it that we take for granted all that we have in the present, sometimes even complain about it, but once it is gone, we want it back, we cry for it? They say the end does not matter, it is how you get there, it is the path that you choose to take. They say when dreams are fulfilled, they cease to make one happy and proud, they cease to mean what they once meant. They say it is unfulfilled love that people really want, that it is the thrill of the chase that people enjoy, that once love is fulfilled, it is no longer that special. It is always the waiting, always the unknown, always the unattainable…

A monotonous life can kill, really it can. To feel the thrills, people do the strangest of things, people walk to the very edge, and sometimes even take the plunge (or allow themselves to get pushed). “Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive…” Words cannot be truer, but are we alive? We may be living flesh and blood, but that doesn’t make us alive, does it? We’re more like zombies, the living dead, with stones which we must carry on our back. When we try to throw away the stones and walk free of all burdens, we find that we cannot, and something of value is lost, sometimes things much too valuable. Then we pick up the stones again, and walk under their heavy burden. Are we not meant to be free?

We do not learn to live in the present, nor do we want to take any risks in life. We take all for granted, and then we cry for what we lost. We feel burdened by responsibilities, by people around us, by the things we must do to make a living, but try to give it up, and things of value are lost, the people who matter, the things that matter, the precious moments. Sometimes we run after money, and if we think about whether it is worth it or not, we find even if we don’t want it, others are there who depend upon us, and we must chase after it for them. None can live a selfish life, none can, no matter how much one tries to isolate themselves from those around them.

So what do we do? Do we let the burdensome stone crush us? Do we give in to the wish to throw it off, and watch ourselves burn? Will we ever learn to be happy with what we have in life, or will we let the human greed drown us? How do we know what is important, and what can be compromised? Do we enjoy life, or do we kill in us that which we love and do these things that bring us no joy? They do say we must learn to love what we do, but is it always possible? Do our interests and hobbies have no place, no time for us in this world? Do we always wish for the unattainable, or do we learn to accept what we have? Is there a limit to human greed?

On the battlefield, when one kills for the first time, do they ever forgive themselves?

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